The Privilege of Not Knowing

Six years of architectural training so far.

Six years since I first downloaded Adobe Suite.

Looking back at my now acquired knowledge from a near-zero outlook on architecture gives me foresight into what an even steeper learning curve I am in for, possibly halfway through my architectural decoding experience (?). Architecture has shown me to be a non-linear training tool, its multifaceted application allowing for creative problem-solving through rational thinking and a capacity to elongate the rare occurrence of a creative spike.

The late Virgil Abloh summed up the rationale of Academic Architecture. "In an Architectural Arena, we solve problems in a very structured way. That's what we're here to do, that's what this training is about", he exclaimed during a Harvard GSD talk.

Whenever I discuss the vastness of our profession and the uneasiness it induces, I often mention how I 'fell in love' with architecture's diverse tangents and roots in politics, literature, photography, documentation, set design, installation, and writing. This is what excites me most about architecture. "Who has time to build a building?" Virgil would continue, arguing that he would step away from a creative project at a near seventy per cent completion.

The tangents I am most drawn to change over time. My route to architectural satisfaction is a long and winding road. Many times, I wonder if I have force-fed myself this statement. Is it because I am in too deep and turning back isn't an option? I tell myself that I find satisfaction in the struggle and visual development of my work, whose success largely depends on communication and representation. Yet, most of the time, these exciting notions get blurred and consumed by post-academic normalities. I do not mean to diminish the importance of technocracy and the necessity of producing line drawings. But this is only one means of representation. I would argue that, by far, it is one of the least just to representing space.

The first contradiction encountered in the profession of the architect is precisely the difference in the creative thinking required and these post-academic normalities. Not only was this my first contradiction, but it is also the most prominent. A contradiction that is shared with the majority of individuals (local and foreign) who are fortunate enough to embark on this journey.

To navigate these complexities, I coined the term "The Privilege of Not-Knowing." A synonym for 'ignorance is bliss', a tool to engage in architectural discourse beyond stringent normalities. A way to blind myself to normality restraints, of explicitly going against code limitations. Simply put, I operate freely because I am not constrained by my knowledge of policy, standard work practices, or conventional codes.

My mind has been occupied every couple of hours, every day, for the past three or so years. Self-initiated projects further occupy and overcome such doubt in an attempt to solve my early professional-life crisis. These are informed through critically and unconsciously analysing the built environment locally through visual stimulation and spatial experiences I find myself a part of. I aim to operate at the intersection of socio-political-architectural circumstances, influenced by common cultural trends. These range from small-scale bus stop solutions and artistic interventions to raise awareness among the general public, to more recently tackling tragedies of on-site collapses and the political backlash experienced by a Maltese society through forensic and journalistic means. It is important to note that all this ambition is generated from an inner frustration in my experiences locally in Malta. As I write this, I realise that all my effort is directed to having a positive impact towards the general public, in having my personal stamp in cleaning up the mess Malta has found itself in throughout the last decade. A further contradiction is that I chose to leave my country to help it in the future. The abundant potential I envision for myself in a professional setting is overwhelming, particularly when trying to transform self-initiated projects into spatial ones and subsequently communicate my ambitions effectively.

This final communicative step is the most important. It is carried out through various media, including self-published books, PowerPoint presentations, models, artistic-architectural large-scale interventions, and photographs, among others, of which I have yet to compile and present holistically. I only have a small number of projects that make it past the spatial materialisation phase. None of them have reached a satisfactory representative level, which, when I hopefully get it, I will question—specifically, who to communicate with and how (local councils, news agencies, ministers, NGOs, art galleries?).

I reaffirm my ambitions, which diverge from the typical practice of architecture, as I undertook internships that lasted a total of 8 months. During this period, I mainly endured clerical work with minimal creativity, relying on Microsoft Excel and online governmental tools. Sitting behind that computer in a shared cluster of desks, my mind drifts into what I could be doing outside the confines of this office, free from the shackles of my bosses' gaze and colleagues' small talk. I am beyond grateful for attempting to exercise this through a few unemployed summers, one of which I am now dedicating precious time to writing.

Till now, however, I haven't been expending the amount of energy I would have hoped to, having been granted this leisure. I find myself waking up two hours later than my strict working day alarm clock, and with so much time to myself, I conjure up more projects that have yet to leave the conceptual stage. Yet, slowly and gradually, I feel a growing sense of calmness as I take on a range of promising projects and find further comfort in my foreign tutor's advice to take the summer off and establish a foundation for my thesis project. I have now been aware of my ignorance for the last three years. Yet, the leap of going abroad is reassuring, as it allows me to carry out these self-initiated projects through generous workshops, materials, and people I can work with, supported by generous state monetary funds.